#413 – Jr. Pantheon Games: 12,000 Step Program
It didn’t exactly go down this way, but I tried to write it down as close as possible (I might have missed one or two tangents that may have occurred during this session)… from a fun D&D campaign I had the honor to be part of:
DM: Behind the secret door in the wall, you see a set of stairs… leading down into the darkness.
PLAYER J: My barbarian looks carefully down the stairs.
One bad dice roll later.
DM: It’s dark but it looks safe to you.
PLAYER J: I start heading down the stairs.
PLAYER R: Wait. It could be trapped. Where did we leave that stone guardian I turned into abstract art?
PLAYER C: Down the hall a bit.
PLAYER J: I’ll get it.
DM: Sounds of stone slowly scraping across stone echo down the hall.
PLAYER J: What now?
PLAYER R: Push it down the stairs.
Sounds of grumbling echo from across the living room. Followed by the sounds of numerous dice rolls.
DM: The statue goes tumbling down the stairs setting off and bending the spring-loaded blade traps in each step. It makes a squishy sound as it hits the bottom of the stairs.
PLAYER J: The statue squished. Statues aren’t supposed to squish. Arazel, I think you broke the statue with your magic.
PLAYER R: That was the whole point of the spell.
PLAYER L (I believe): Maybe it was just squishy on the inside.
… tangent on candies with crunchy candy shells and squishy guts …
DM: Okay, let’s get back to the game. With the blades bent there’s no way you can walk down the stairs without injuring your feet and legs.
PLAYER R: Isn’t the barbarian still carrying that tower shield around?
PLAYER C: Yeah, the one we were using to protect us from the archers.
PLAYER J: You mean this tower shield?
PLAYER R: Everybody hop on.